I am a weird person. After almost 19 years this is a fact that I've learnt to accept. Wait no, this is a fact that I love.
I think something that we all must learn to do is to embrace our weirdness or our quirkiness. After all, aren't these the things that make us unique? Not to long ago meeting new people would be a very suffocating thing for me (okay MAYBE it still is). I would shut down my weird parts that want to break into song at any given time, dance even with strangers around and make extremely inappropriate comments every once in a while. But this wasn't right. I wasn't being me. This wasn't something I could help. I would smile meekly during conversations, nod every once in a while and hope that the limelight wouldn't shine on me at all.
Now I know what you might be thinking, some people are just quieter than others. And maybe you're right but the thing is, I am not a quiet person. I am loud and weird and when I'm with my close friends and family, I never shut up and love being in the limelight.
I'm tired of being known as the 'quiet one' when meeting new people. I want to scream and shout and dance and sing and be happy and confident with myself. I want to just be my normal weird self. Is that too much to ask? So when I hit the big smoke (Dublin) in September, I'm making a promise to myself that I won't hide that part of me that is slightly strange. I'll embrace it and step out of comfort zone and hope people like me for me. And if they don't, then there'll be many others I'm sure who are just as weird as me (I hope)..
Throughout the year gone by, I met new people doing my course. As usual I barely spoke and pretty much just said what I thought people wanted me to say. Whenever I did make some sort of a witty remark or inappropriate comment I was met with 'Oh my God I'm shocked!' and 'That's so unlike you'. Honestly, these remarks hurt. Did these people not know me at all? Why was it whenever I said something that I would normally say everyone was so shocked?
I hid myself. And when I started to relax and show who I really was, it was a shock to those around me. I don't want this to be the case. I know it will be hard at first, not shutting myself off from new people but this is something that is holding me back in life. And I swear that I will do everything in my power to overcome this.
I hope I'm not the only one who has this problem when meeting new people. Leave comments below and I'll speak to you soon.